Arrangements

Visitation
Byrd Funeral Home - 3409 W Main St Dothan, AL - Tuesday 6pm - 8pm

Funeral Service
Ridgecrest Baptist Church - 1231 Fortner Street Dothan, AL - Wednesday 10am

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that contributions be made to Wellspring for Women, 2377 County Road 65, Marbury, Alabama 36067; Wiregrass Hope Group, PO Box 7154, Dothan, AL 36302; First Baptist Church, P.O. Box 512, Ashford, AL 36312; or Wiregrass Habitat for Humanity, PO Box 7002, Dothan, AL 36302.

It Is Finished

"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints." Psalms 116:15

Mom went home to be with the Lord this morning about 4:30. She "fought the good fight, [she] finished the race, [she] kept the faith." (2 Tim. 4:7). We can testify that she was completely faithful to the end. She threw herself completely on the Lord.

Thank you to all who prayed for Mom's complete healing, which she has now received. Thank you for your outpouring of love and support that you gave our family during this difficult time. The nursing staff at Flowers was amazed at how the body of Christ enveloped us in your love. We will forever be grateful for that, and many lives will forever be impacted for God's glory. A very special thanks to all of you who brought food and kept our children so we could nurse Mom. May your labors of love be multiplied back to you.

We will update the blog when we know the funeral arrangements.

A Very Long Night

Todd and I (Lori) stayed the night last night. Everything was going along as usual until midnight. She awoke and talked a little bit. It was a sweet time of Todd praying over her, and her repeatedly thanking Jesus and praising Him. But her pain medication just wouldn't ease her. She asked for pain medicine, even though she had just had it. She said she hurt, and asked us to hurry and get her more medicine. From that point forward throughout the night she groaned. Our wonderful, compassionate nurse, Kim, went above and beyond the call of duty. She checked on her every 30 minutes. The doctor on call graciously agreed to allow her to have her pain meds more frequently, and she got them from that point forward every 30 minutes. She still was moaning, still had her brow furrowed. Sweet Todd apologized to her all night, "I'm so sorry, Mom." This morning the doctor on call added morphine to her pain med cocktail, and it does seem to have made her more comfortable. A relief to be certain.

Rough Night

Yesterday was for the most part uneventful for mom. I (Troy) had the chance to visit with so many who love mom, which in and of itself renews my strength. I shouldn't be but I am still amazed at how God sends messages of strength right when you need it. Mine last night was the guest book in the waiting room. It prepared me for what lay ahead that night. At around 3:30am mom woke up suddenly without warning. Kathy, Barbara, and I were by her bed in one leap. Mom was struggling to breathe and was crying for us to help her. I held her hand, put my arm around her, and began to pray. Mom began to cry out for Jesus to come over and over. The nurse was in and was able to calm her down with medication. I share this not to extinguish hope, but to ignite the fire. We are all praying for healing, comfort, mercy, and wisdom. Love is the generator and the Holy Spirit the electricity. May the Holy Spirit electrify your prayers.

Holding Steady

Mom had a restful night, with only one episode of agitation. We are trying to get her pain med dosing time shifted to even numbered hours to avoid the inevitable delays that occur because her meds are currently due right at shift change...NOT good. A thirty minute delay in getting her meds causes distress for all of us.

This morning, due to the long delay in getting her meds, she became as lucid as she ever gets, and told Todd, "You look weary and tired." Ever the loving mother worrying about her babies. She told him, "I love you," and gave him a sweet hug. Todd assured her he was okay, and that he was here to take care of her. She also asked him if she was going to die; a hard thing to have to admit to your mother.

Mom's brothers, Les and Glenn, are heading back to South Africa and Washington, respectively, today. It has been a neat time of connecting with them, though we certainly would have rather done that where Mom could have enjoyed them being here as well.

Good Morning!

There are no words to describe what happened in the room last night - last night's post is as close as you can get! I'll suffice it to say other worldly. We each went away with a gift that filled our well and will armor and carry us through the darkest shadows.

The physical, mental and emotional strain is taking its toll on the family. We are supporting each other moment by moment, not being able to really plan too far in advance. When the spiritual event had ebbed, everyone rallied together to decide who was going to stay and who would go and get much needed rest. Troy and Barbara chose to stay as they have Barbara's parents caring for the children. I must remind some of you that Todd and Lori, Troy and Barbara have four children each, so through this whole experience, they also have the care and nurturing of Nana's grandbabies to do. It is amazing to watch my sister's boys and their wives caring for their mother with the same caliber they received all of their lives.

I went to Vickey's home with Glenn and Les to get some sleep. I went into Vic's room to get ready for bed. When I tossed my sweater onto my suitcase, a yellow stickey flew through the air and landed next to my foot. I bent down to pick it up and I notice it is Vickey's VERY familiar handwriting - here is what it said:
On one side:
Without expanding my capacity to see my present circumstances from God's perspective, I will suffer loss.
On the other side:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass.. it is about learning how to dance in the rain.

So, close your eyes. Capture that morning you may have had with Vickey when you walked into the kitchen filled with the aroma of a fresh pot of her famous coffee, the biscuits just coming out of the oven and Vic sitting in her rocking chair with her sweet smile, sparkling eyes and that same greeting, "Good Morning!"

After a wonderfully peaceful night - we had the nurse angel of compassion who kept up with the meds without Troy and Barbara having to manage it - Vickey began to stir for a brief moment. This usually causes those who have been witnessing an instant alarm because of the sequence of events that usually follows. The nurse came in and administered the meds right on time which settled Vickey right away. Before she went back into the sleep that gives her such peaceful escape from the pain and anxiety, she looked up at Les and me (Kathy) and smiled and said "Good Morning!" (I know some of you just heard her cheerful voice in your mind). Les and I answered back as if it were another glorious day with sis. She smiled, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I feel like dancing.

Visit from the Spirit

Today mom was more awake than she has been in the past few days. About every two hours she would wake up and want to sit on the edge of the bed. Despite her medication she was somewhat coherent offering up different jokes and directions. She even had the opportunity to scold her two younger brothers. Always the big sister. However this did come with some adverse effects. By the end of the day she was becoming more and more agitated and having some drowning sensations. I went by moms house and got some praise cd's. This had proven the best medicine for calming her down in the past. As soon as we put the first CD in she began to relax. We stood around her bed and all joined in and enveloped ourselves in worship to the King. Voices were raised as tears fell. We sang song after song praising the Lord. You could see mom mouthing the words as her eyes went from friend, to brothers, to sister, to cousin, to daughter-in-laws, to sons, and finally to the father. Then she lifted up her hands and began to speak words of praise as we sang. It was a precious moment in the Lord and one I will cherish forever. Thank you Jesus. Please continue to pray for moms comfort and for the family as we seek God's guidance. You are all so sweet and we love you dearly. Thank you to everyone who has come by, sent food, or wrote letters.

Relatively Uneventful Night

Mom slept well, other than getting agitated twice. Benadryl is good stuff! When it gets out of her system, she gets agitated. We're going to ask the doctor this morning if they can give it closer together than every four hours, since 3 & 1/2 hours is all it seems to last for her...almost to the minute. Dr. Dunn, the oncologist, came by this morning and discussed stopping her chemo treatments. We agreed. He said that there is a possibility that it is contributing to her agitation by having a toxin in her system, and that at this point, she'd be better off not having anything adding to that.

During one agitation, I (Lori) was standing in front of her. She was staring with unseeing eyes through me as she was trying to sit up to breathe easier. Then all of the sudden, she looked at me, REALLY looked at me, and recognition flashed across her face. She smiled at me and said, "Hey Darlin'!" and leaned forward to give me a hug. A sweet, precious, priceless moment for me to treasure. A gift. I honestly would not have expected her to become that "alert" due to the heavy mediations that she is on currently. As quickly as it came, the moment left and we went about the business of soothing her.

For those of you tracking Todd and Troy's exhaustion levels, they slept VERY soundly, rousing only long enough to soothe Mrs. Vickey, then crashing back to sleep. They have been wonderful sons, only leaving the room for an hour here or there, and being so loving, compassionate, and gentle with their mom. If you ever need around the clock nursing care, I highly recommend the Smith Brothers Team! (But their fees are VERY high from what I understand...like you have to have given birth...to them!). : )

Restful, Peaceful Day

Today has been pretty uneventful. Mom has slept peacefully most of the day. The doctors have found a good mix of medications to keep Mom relaxed and resting. Dr. Bass did say that her lungs sounded a little bit better, and she does seem to be breathing more easily today, for which we are grateful. Easy breathing makes for a relaxed Mom. Today was a good day for us to hang out together as a family, uncles, aunt, and nephews, and process through the events which are unfolding.

We were pleasantly surprised when the Pizza Fairy (aka Patrick Liester of American Classifieds) delivered a LOT of pizza for us to enjoy. We had such an abundance that we shared with the nursing staff, and they were touched. They said no one had ever done that for them before. It was a great opportunity for us to minister to them that we love them in the Lord, and are so appreciative of all that they are doing to take such good care of Mom. We decided we needed to take care of the night crew, too, so their feelings didn't get hurt, so they got yummy Atlanta Bread pastries. We are impressed with how kind and compassionate the nursing staff has been throughout our time here at Flowers. They have been such a blessing to our family.

Blessing Upon Blessing

I (Lori) had finally convinced Todd to go home and get some sleep, when after about an hour, he got called back because her lungs have filled with fluid, and her body is wearing down. What a true blessing it is to sit and watch her boys, one on each side of her bed, each holding a hand, pray over her and then sing several songs of worship. But then, muffled by her breathing mask, Mrs. Vickey starts them off on the next song! "He is the King of Kings. He is the Lord of Lords, His name is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, oh, He is my King!" How precious, and such a blessing to be a witness of this remarkable moment from such a remarkable woman. Isn't that a true testimony of the woman of God that she is? I am reminded of Paul and Silas in their prison cell at midnight after a beating and singing praises in spite of their pain. God sent an earthquake to free them from their prison cell, and I won't be surprised a bit if the hospital starts shaking any minute to free her from the prison that her body has become. We are so thankful for Jesus, and the gift of salvation that He bought for each of us with His precious blood. The enemy of our souls might think he's winning a battle right now, but He's not. He might be destroying her body, but none can destroy her soul. We are thankful that soon she will have her new body, and will be living the life that Jesus died to give to her.

Challenging Night

Mom's breathing continued to get worse as the day went on yesterday. Uncle Glenn arrived from Washington State in perfect timing to help out. With the medication that mom is taking she tends to get hot very easily. We were a streamlined assembly line last night in an effort to keep her cool. Barbara and Aunt Kathy placed cool rags on forehead and neck, Uncle Glenn and I fanned her, and Todd was in charge of keeping the rags cooling during rotations. Even when mom is sleeping she is giving directions, cooking, and telling Gabby to get down. We all look at each other and smile. The doctors and nurses are doing their best to try and keep mom comfortable, but as always it is ultimately up to the Lord. All the medical advances we believe to have made in this modern age, pales in comparison to the fragility and miraculous creation of life in and of itself. God's awesome power is as much apparent in death as it is in life. Specific prayer request: Healing, comfort, good reactions to medicines, and breathing. Mom is still living for the Lord and continues to bless us with her reflection of Christ. I will try and update with any changes.

Second Radiation Treatment

Not a lot to report on today. Mom is doing well, just sleeping. She had here 2nd treatment of radiation this morning. She just had a bath, brushed her teeth and directed us to put a little makeup on her. She is worn out but seems to feel better. We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Mom's two brothers Glenn and Les. Glenn should be here this evening and Les should be here sometime tomorrow.

We appreciate everything that our church family and friends have done and are doing to make this time in our lives easier by taking care of things like food, Mom's animals, kids, house and pool. What an amazing thing to see the body of Christ ministering love one to another.

Back from first radiation treatment

First round went fine. Mom has of course been deemed the sweetest patient anyone could have from every nurse or doctor she meets. Dr. Patel said that he hopes that she will begin seeing some improvement by tomm. night. We are scheduled for another treatment tomm. morning at 9:00. Dr. Patel made mention that we were taking the situation very well. I just smiled and told him that mom's relationship with her Lord was strong and she was not afraid. He showed a look of admiration that made me swell with pride. Mom has always been able to keep the focus on the father. Another quick note: Mrs. Pam Godwin has been graciously planning different things for us here at the hospital and beyond. I've heard that mom's house is now the new gathering spot for family and friends to come and fellowship with each other. When I told mom this it made her so happy. I told her this was as close everybody could get to all being with you (or at least for you) in one place. Thanks Mrs. Pam. I'll try and get another update tomm. after radiation.

Evening with the Radiologist

Mom has been amazing through this whole ordeal. It is wonderful to see the truths she has studied and shared through out the many years evidenced in her life during this difficult ordeal. She is truly a woman of God and it is refreshing to see the fruit of the Spirit in her during this time. What is so captivating about her is that due to the pain medication she can not possibly be posing and pretending for those around her. What we are seeing is who she really is and it is beautiful, it is Christ.

She began the afternoon with a visit to the radiologist for a consultation. Following the CT scan and review Dr. Patel decided that it would be best to begin radiation tonight. Troy was with mom when they went to the radiologist consultation and was able to look at the CT scan results. He said that the tumor has grown and has covered most if not all of the stomach. Mom's bleeding has increased this afternoon thus accelerating the need for radiation tonight to help control the bleeding.

I will update the blog as soon as they return from the radiation treatment.

Chemo News

Dr. Dunn just left, and Mom wants to attempt chemo. Normally with adenocarcinoma, you use 2 or 3 very powerful agents and give a really big dose at one time to get really high blood levels to kill the cancer cells, but the side effects of that regimen would probably be too much for her already weakened body to withstand. So what he offered to her, was to use one of the agents and give the dose very slowly (spread the dose over the whole week). This way he hopes to minimize the side effects that she will experience. At any time it can be withdrawn if it appears to be making her too sick. The negative about dosing it this way, is that without the really high peak concentrations in her blood, the chemo will be much less effective. After a couple of weeks, he can determine if she is strong enough, and has tolerated the initial agent well enough, to try more aggressive therapy.

Home...Sort Of!

Sorry we didn't update last night, but we spent the evening getting Mom settled back at Flower's Hospital. She relaxed the minute she was wheeled back into her old room ("MY room"). She was even happy to see "my bathroom," and commented that it smelled so clean and fresh, which I certainly admit it did after our less than stellar room at UAB! We were also very happy to see Dr. Paola Bass upon our arrival, who immediately prayed with her and made sure she had the meds she needed to ease her and make her comfortable, and she was very glad to Dr. Fincher when he came in shortly thereafter. She told him, "I've missed you!" He does have such a calm, caring, and peaceful demeanor. We all like him so much, and certainly trust his opinion. He has called in Dr. Dunn, our local oncologist, for a consult this morning, so we are awaiting his arrival to get his opinion about going ahead with chemo, even though she is already so weak and nutritionally deficient. We'll post after we have seen him, and can discuss with Mom what he had to say when she is clear enough to process everything. We try to save any decision making for times when she is most alert and clear headed. Mom had a good night, despite numerous interruptions. Good pain & nausea meds certainly help her drift right back off to sleep afterwards. We thank all of you who are praying so fervently on her behalf, and ours. We have all felt God's peace and sustaining grace, and we know that your prayers have been heard, and answered, by our loving Father.

Getting Ready to Go Home

Doctors said that mom could head back home today. The ambulance is suppossed to be here around 1:00 to pick her up. She wil be back at flowers hospital. Mom's nausea is continuing to get worse and more frequent each day. They adjusted her meds today in preparation for the trip in the ambulance. Please be praying that she makes the trip with min. discomfort. She is down to only a few min. at a time that she can open her eyes and communicate. I say this to prepare any of you who might want to come to the hospital to visit. When mom is sleeping or resting we would like to keep the room as quiet and calm as possible. When she is able to open her eyes we really want her drinking and letting us know how she is feeling. She loves you all so much and I'm sure would love to hug and kiss each one, but it would be impossible to give everyone that opportunity and still leave room for the family. I hope no one takes offense to our request because none is intended. We will continue to pray for healing for mom as I hope you will too. I will update the blog once we are in the hospital in Dothan. Thank you as always for your constant prayers and servant hearts.

Wednesday, February 18 noon

Vickey had a visit from the Oncologist this morning. With the most efficient, clear and compationate manner, she was able to deliver to Vic that the adeno carcenoma in her stomach has grown with undaunting speed and that there are lesions in her lymph, liver, lungs and spleen. The doctor drew illustrations for her as she spoke which made it the moment that would bring most mortals to their knees palatable and more easily understood. Her options to consider include first and foremost - stopping the bleeding, managing the pain, strengthening her so that she can become strong enough to choose the next plan. Chemo is a possibility when she is stronger. For those who need time frames - we of course cannot know God's plan - however, the doctor said with radiation to stop the bleeding and comfort measures, months - maybe up to a year. If she heals enough to receive chemo treatment, a year to a few. She spoke to the quality of life and the many pros and cons of each possible choice.
Vickey was so appreciative of the doctor's information and delivery. Her strength in the Lord FILLED the room and humbled the doctor, who took Vickey's hand and assurred her that the doctor's would do everything to make her comfortable. She then bent down and placed her arms around Vickey, lifting her into a close embrace that superceded anything she could have said with words.
What continues to amaze everyone is the spirit of peace Vickey is filled with - example -
after the doctor left, she smiled and reached to hold our hands and join in prayer. After Todd prayed, she continued to remind us where she kept her eyes until she fell asleep. After a while, during her short lived nap, a nurse came in to speak to the patient in the next bed. She turned to leave and said "Oh, she is sleeping, I'll come back." Vickey opened her eyes, clear as a bell and said, "Who shall we tell her was here?"
I KNOW you are smiling right now.

Because she is in such pain and discomfort, please understand that while she is in Birmingham, the goal is to let her REST and HEAL to gain her strength. She will be headed back to Dothan this weekend to continue the regiment of resting and healing.

You know Vickey is going to be ever the hostess, so your visits are better spent with the family. We appreciate your loving understanding.

Wed. Morning Update

Mom had a pretty good night last night. We had our regular visits about every three hours, but for the most part she was able to sleep with min. discomfort. We did gain a roommate late yesterday afternoon. She is a sweet lady and with the exception of her snoaring she has been a fine roommate. Mom is her typical self making sure I don't talk to loud or make to much noise that might disturb our guest. Even now she is more concerned with a strangers comforts more than hers. As far as we know we are still scheduled to meet with oncologist at 2. Will hope to update more then. A specific prayer for mom would be some relief in her back from having to lay in bed for so long. The doctors have encourged her to sit up as much as possible, but after an hour or so the nausea gets to be to much. I continue to thank God for his provision thus far and for the provisions that he is preparing right now. God Bless all our prayer partners.

Quick oncologist update

We were just told that the oncologist wouldn't be in till tomm. at 2pm. They've already started anti-biotics. Mom is sitting up and talking and looks to be feeling a little better.