A Very Long Night

Todd and I (Lori) stayed the night last night. Everything was going along as usual until midnight. She awoke and talked a little bit. It was a sweet time of Todd praying over her, and her repeatedly thanking Jesus and praising Him. But her pain medication just wouldn't ease her. She asked for pain medicine, even though she had just had it. She said she hurt, and asked us to hurry and get her more medicine. From that point forward throughout the night she groaned. Our wonderful, compassionate nurse, Kim, went above and beyond the call of duty. She checked on her every 30 minutes. The doctor on call graciously agreed to allow her to have her pain meds more frequently, and she got them from that point forward every 30 minutes. She still was moaning, still had her brow furrowed. Sweet Todd apologized to her all night, "I'm so sorry, Mom." This morning the doctor on call added morphine to her pain med cocktail, and it does seem to have made her more comfortable. A relief to be certain.

Rough Night

Yesterday was for the most part uneventful for mom. I (Troy) had the chance to visit with so many who love mom, which in and of itself renews my strength. I shouldn't be but I am still amazed at how God sends messages of strength right when you need it. Mine last night was the guest book in the waiting room. It prepared me for what lay ahead that night. At around 3:30am mom woke up suddenly without warning. Kathy, Barbara, and I were by her bed in one leap. Mom was struggling to breathe and was crying for us to help her. I held her hand, put my arm around her, and began to pray. Mom began to cry out for Jesus to come over and over. The nurse was in and was able to calm her down with medication. I share this not to extinguish hope, but to ignite the fire. We are all praying for healing, comfort, mercy, and wisdom. Love is the generator and the Holy Spirit the electricity. May the Holy Spirit electrify your prayers.

Holding Steady

Mom had a restful night, with only one episode of agitation. We are trying to get her pain med dosing time shifted to even numbered hours to avoid the inevitable delays that occur because her meds are currently due right at shift change...NOT good. A thirty minute delay in getting her meds causes distress for all of us.

This morning, due to the long delay in getting her meds, she became as lucid as she ever gets, and told Todd, "You look weary and tired." Ever the loving mother worrying about her babies. She told him, "I love you," and gave him a sweet hug. Todd assured her he was okay, and that he was here to take care of her. She also asked him if she was going to die; a hard thing to have to admit to your mother.

Mom's brothers, Les and Glenn, are heading back to South Africa and Washington, respectively, today. It has been a neat time of connecting with them, though we certainly would have rather done that where Mom could have enjoyed them being here as well.

Good Morning!

There are no words to describe what happened in the room last night - last night's post is as close as you can get! I'll suffice it to say other worldly. We each went away with a gift that filled our well and will armor and carry us through the darkest shadows.

The physical, mental and emotional strain is taking its toll on the family. We are supporting each other moment by moment, not being able to really plan too far in advance. When the spiritual event had ebbed, everyone rallied together to decide who was going to stay and who would go and get much needed rest. Troy and Barbara chose to stay as they have Barbara's parents caring for the children. I must remind some of you that Todd and Lori, Troy and Barbara have four children each, so through this whole experience, they also have the care and nurturing of Nana's grandbabies to do. It is amazing to watch my sister's boys and their wives caring for their mother with the same caliber they received all of their lives.

I went to Vickey's home with Glenn and Les to get some sleep. I went into Vic's room to get ready for bed. When I tossed my sweater onto my suitcase, a yellow stickey flew through the air and landed next to my foot. I bent down to pick it up and I notice it is Vickey's VERY familiar handwriting - here is what it said:
On one side:
Without expanding my capacity to see my present circumstances from God's perspective, I will suffer loss.
On the other side:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass.. it is about learning how to dance in the rain.

So, close your eyes. Capture that morning you may have had with Vickey when you walked into the kitchen filled with the aroma of a fresh pot of her famous coffee, the biscuits just coming out of the oven and Vic sitting in her rocking chair with her sweet smile, sparkling eyes and that same greeting, "Good Morning!"

After a wonderfully peaceful night - we had the nurse angel of compassion who kept up with the meds without Troy and Barbara having to manage it - Vickey began to stir for a brief moment. This usually causes those who have been witnessing an instant alarm because of the sequence of events that usually follows. The nurse came in and administered the meds right on time which settled Vickey right away. Before she went back into the sleep that gives her such peaceful escape from the pain and anxiety, she looked up at Les and me (Kathy) and smiled and said "Good Morning!" (I know some of you just heard her cheerful voice in your mind). Les and I answered back as if it were another glorious day with sis. She smiled, closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I feel like dancing.

Visit from the Spirit

Today mom was more awake than she has been in the past few days. About every two hours she would wake up and want to sit on the edge of the bed. Despite her medication she was somewhat coherent offering up different jokes and directions. She even had the opportunity to scold her two younger brothers. Always the big sister. However this did come with some adverse effects. By the end of the day she was becoming more and more agitated and having some drowning sensations. I went by moms house and got some praise cd's. This had proven the best medicine for calming her down in the past. As soon as we put the first CD in she began to relax. We stood around her bed and all joined in and enveloped ourselves in worship to the King. Voices were raised as tears fell. We sang song after song praising the Lord. You could see mom mouthing the words as her eyes went from friend, to brothers, to sister, to cousin, to daughter-in-laws, to sons, and finally to the father. Then she lifted up her hands and began to speak words of praise as we sang. It was a precious moment in the Lord and one I will cherish forever. Thank you Jesus. Please continue to pray for moms comfort and for the family as we seek God's guidance. You are all so sweet and we love you dearly. Thank you to everyone who has come by, sent food, or wrote letters.

Relatively Uneventful Night

Mom slept well, other than getting agitated twice. Benadryl is good stuff! When it gets out of her system, she gets agitated. We're going to ask the doctor this morning if they can give it closer together than every four hours, since 3 & 1/2 hours is all it seems to last for her...almost to the minute. Dr. Dunn, the oncologist, came by this morning and discussed stopping her chemo treatments. We agreed. He said that there is a possibility that it is contributing to her agitation by having a toxin in her system, and that at this point, she'd be better off not having anything adding to that.

During one agitation, I (Lori) was standing in front of her. She was staring with unseeing eyes through me as she was trying to sit up to breathe easier. Then all of the sudden, she looked at me, REALLY looked at me, and recognition flashed across her face. She smiled at me and said, "Hey Darlin'!" and leaned forward to give me a hug. A sweet, precious, priceless moment for me to treasure. A gift. I honestly would not have expected her to become that "alert" due to the heavy mediations that she is on currently. As quickly as it came, the moment left and we went about the business of soothing her.

For those of you tracking Todd and Troy's exhaustion levels, they slept VERY soundly, rousing only long enough to soothe Mrs. Vickey, then crashing back to sleep. They have been wonderful sons, only leaving the room for an hour here or there, and being so loving, compassionate, and gentle with their mom. If you ever need around the clock nursing care, I highly recommend the Smith Brothers Team! (But their fees are VERY high from what I understand...like you have to have given birth...to them!). : )

Restful, Peaceful Day

Today has been pretty uneventful. Mom has slept peacefully most of the day. The doctors have found a good mix of medications to keep Mom relaxed and resting. Dr. Bass did say that her lungs sounded a little bit better, and she does seem to be breathing more easily today, for which we are grateful. Easy breathing makes for a relaxed Mom. Today was a good day for us to hang out together as a family, uncles, aunt, and nephews, and process through the events which are unfolding.

We were pleasantly surprised when the Pizza Fairy (aka Patrick Liester of American Classifieds) delivered a LOT of pizza for us to enjoy. We had such an abundance that we shared with the nursing staff, and they were touched. They said no one had ever done that for them before. It was a great opportunity for us to minister to them that we love them in the Lord, and are so appreciative of all that they are doing to take such good care of Mom. We decided we needed to take care of the night crew, too, so their feelings didn't get hurt, so they got yummy Atlanta Bread pastries. We are impressed with how kind and compassionate the nursing staff has been throughout our time here at Flowers. They have been such a blessing to our family.